Author Archives: The Baumer

Racket Attack

After more than a month since their split, Roger Federer’s racket has decided to break his silence. The scorned Wilson frame famous for its precise shot-making helped Federer win more Grand Slams than any other male player. However, a recent … Continue reading

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Bizarro Indian Wells

12 things that probably won’t be overheard at Indian Wells 1. Hi, Serena. So good to see you again. 2. Everyone here is so young and energized. This tournament really has a similar vibe to Miami. 3. I saw Federer … Continue reading

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Murray’s Complaint

Interior of therapist Alexis Castorri’s office in Fort Lauderdale, Fl. The waiting room has large framed pictures of marlins adorning the walls and numerous copies of AARP magazine. Inside Castorri’s private office there is a long, white leather couch that … Continue reading

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Rafa’s Knee Plays Defense

So now it’s my fault again. Last July it was his foot, but this summer we’re back at the familiar frailty refrain: Rafa’s knee just can’t handle the pounding. The guy is a mere sturdy tendon away from being the … Continue reading

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The Beard Knows

I get around to all the major sports, but I have a soft spot for tennis. Probably because I don’t exactly fit in. Athletes who wear me tend to exude a primal toughness not generally associated with such a refined … Continue reading

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Serena’s Mad Rhymes

“I aint ever been a loser and I’m always on top – roofer.” We may have just lost MCA, but Serena is here to widen the void.

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Rafa’s New Commercial

See you at De Country Club, Rafa.

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