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Author Archives: The Baumer
Bizarro Indian Wells
12 things that probably won’t be overheard at Indian Wells 1. Hi, Serena. So good to see you again. 2. Everyone here is so young and energized. This tournament really has a similar vibe to Miami. 3. I saw Federer … Continue reading
Posted in Bogus News, Indian Wells
Tagged Call Me Maybe, Curb Your Enthusiasm, David Ferrer, Indian Wells, injury timeout, John Isner, Justin Gimelstob, Larry Ellison, Maria Sharapova, Marin Cilic, Oscar Pistorius, Patrick McEnroe, player screeching, Redfoo, Richard Gasquet, Roger Federer, serena williams, Victoria Azarenka
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Murray’s Complaint
Interior of therapist Alexis Castorri’s office in Fort Lauderdale, Fl. The waiting room has large framed pictures of marlins adorning the walls and numerous copies of AARP magazine. Inside Castorri’s private office there is a long, white leather couch that … Continue reading
Rafa’s Knee Plays Defense
So now it’s my fault again. Last July it was his foot, but this summer we’re back at the familiar frailty refrain: Rafa’s knee just can’t handle the pounding. The guy is a mere sturdy tendon away from being the … Continue reading
Posted in Bogus News
Tagged Andy Murray, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Australian Open, Breaking Bad, Buster Douglas, George Bastl, Kinesio tape, Kobe Bryant, Lebron James, Lukas Rosol, Malcolm Gladwell, Maria Francisca Perello, Melbourne, Pau Gasol, Pete Sampras, Rafael Nadal, Rafael Nadal's knee, Regenokine, Roger Corman, Roger Federer, Roland Garros, U.S. Open, Uncle Toni Nadal, Usain Bolt, Walter White
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The Beard Knows
I get around to all the major sports, but I have a soft spot for tennis. Probably because I don’t exactly fit in. Athletes who wear me tend to exude a primal toughness not generally associated with such a refined … Continue reading
Posted in Bogus News
Tagged Andre Agassi, Andy Murray, Bjorn Borg, Brad Gilbert, Chuck Norris, French Open, Game of Thrones, Grand Slam beard, Ivan Lendl, Jimmy Connors, Lannisters, Nighthawks, novak djokovic, Paul Annacone, Pete Sampras, playoff beard, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Roland Garros, Sylvester Stallone
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Serena’s Mad Rhymes
“I aint ever been a loser and I’m always on top – roofer.” We may have just lost MCA, but Serena is here to widen the void.
Rafa’s New Commercial
See you at De Country Club, Rafa.
Parsing P-Mac
Several weeks ago, Wayne Bryan – tennis coach, dad, and cheerleader – sent a lengthy, critical open letter to the USTA. He essentially characterized the organization’s player development program as being a rudderless money pit. The attention Bryan’s attack drew … Continue reading
Tsonga Cuts Footloose
In an unusual act of cross-the-aisle solidarity, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga has decided to retire his trademark post-match spinning, hopping, gesticulating victory dance. Tsonga told reporters after his first round, four-set win over Denis Istomin in Melbourne, that upon hearing of Andrea … Continue reading
2012 Crystal Ball
Novak Djokovic will keep his game, but change his hair. History tells us when players reach No. 1 they become more fashion conscious. Federer dropped the ponytail and beaded necklace; Nadal covered his biceps and exposed his knees. All image … Continue reading
Posted in Bogus News
Tagged Andrea Petkovic, Andy Roddick, Bobby Bones, Brett Ratner, Connors autobiography, Jimmy Connors, John McEnroe, Kim Kardashian, Kris Humphries, Margaret Court, martina navratilova, novak djokovic, Patrick McEnroe, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, serena williams
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The Huggy Bear
For more than 20 years, Teddy Forstmann, the Wall Street icon who died this past weekend, hosted one of the most coveted, charitable and secretive pro-am doubles tournaments in tennis. Five years ago, during one of the event’s final … Continue reading
