Venus Williams, like any good Doug Henning fan, loves an illusion. She took it to a whole new level last Spring when she wore her flesh colored undergarments and gave us all the illusion of shooting the moon after every serve. In Melbourne on Monday, she again referred back to the illusion theme (I thought fashion was about change?) when asked about her new outfit. “The design, it really was an illusion dress, the illusion when I wear the nude shorts under,” Venus said. “It’s all about the dress because it has a mesh and a satin kind of material. Of course, it’s all sports gear, and it’s all about the zipper, too.”
It sounds like it’s all about a lot of things, Venus! While we’re on the subject of illusions, let’s imagine a brainstorming session between fashion divas Venus and Serena.
Picture it: Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. The house of Venus and Serena. Last week.
Venus: Serena, my little sister, give your big sister some ideas for my new dress design.
Serena: (mumbling) hmmm…
Venus: Hey, stop eating those double stuff oreos.
Serena: (swallowing) I was just saying, write your name backwards on a dress or something.
Venus: I’m serious. Remember that Bob Mackie class we took in fashion school? The one we both got an “a-plus” in? I’m thinking of going that route again – or, maybe channeling Ted Tinling.
Serena: Didn’t he design Fed Cup stuff?
Venus: Didn’t he design for what?
Both sisters giggle.
Serena: Good one!
Venus: I like the idea of illusions. Sort of like the illusion I’m naked – but I’m not!
Serena: Shhh! I tivoed all my HSN appearance and I’m waiting to see what kind of jewelry I designed this year. Don’t I look fierce in those earrings?! Why don’t you bring a pair down to Melbourne?
Venus: Ok. But back to me. Remember the last match I played in the U.S. Open? I played that girl with the curly hair…
Serena: The one with the little girl who runs around the court?
Venus: Yeah, that one. Anyhow, I was thinking about all the presents I gave her during that match. All those unforced errors.
Serena: Yeah, I gave her a great big birthday present the year before.
Venus: Maybe I should go with a present theme?
Serena: There you go. Keep it real. We’re all about giving our opponents presents. Has anyone done anything with wrapping paper before?
Venus: OMG! That’s a great idea! And, I’ll add a zipper to make it my own.
Serena: I’m so glad we will have a life after tennis.
Venus: Me, too, little sister.