Backhands and Compliments – WTA Edition

My Jehovah, this is too f'ing easy!













If you love it so much, why don’t you marry it?

Do you ever imagine yourself a fly on a wall in the Sister Compound? I do. I wouldn’t buzz around Venus, that’s for sure. She just sits around, nurses her injuries and takes online classes. I picture her on some V Starr designed desk tapping her mouse while working on her big orange iMac (in my fantasy, Venus is very practical) working slowly through a big box of Kleenex.

My vision of Serena is much more fun. She’s twirling in front of a mirror, laughing, enjoying Crunch ‘n Munch, talking on the phone and holding onto her 2001 Canadian Open trophy. The one she loves best!

“Eight months ago if there was only one tournament I wanted to win, it was Toronto,” Serena said Sunday after winning her second Canadian Open title.

Mmmmmhhhmmmmmmm. That noise was from the fly.

At least it’s more fun imagining Serena coveting the Toronto title more than Wimbledon then it is imagining how awful the tour is without Serena. After all, she’s won half of the four events she’s played after nearly a year off. Serena is better than everyone. But who is everyone, anyway? The women are becoming so surface specific it seems the only way to judge would be to go back in time and have her play Petra Kvitova at Wimbledon or Kim Clijsters in Australia. I still can’t believe Li Na took home the French.

Can you imagine if Serena had made a career out of showing up at non-slam events with the same intensity as she has the past few weeks? Well, it wouldn’t have taken her ten years to collect her second trophy in Canada. I think Serena may actually make the US Open Series race interesting to watch for a change. She did mention she wanted a little extra cash.

Maria Sharapova

Exactly what happened in Rome this year? Does clay actually help Sharapova because the serve is taken away? Sometimes I’m certain  Maria Sharapova is Andy Roddick. Sometimes I cringe when Maria speaks. And sometimes I’m convinced she’s about to write a self-help book. After losing to Ellesse-challenged Galina Voskoboeva last week in Toronto, Maria gave us this little nugget: “At the end of the day no matter what you’re ranked or seeded, the reason we go out and play the match is to know who’s going to be the winner on that day. Whether you’re No. 1 in the world or you’re facing someone that’s 100 or so, you still have to go out and win. That’s what the sport is all about.”

Shanti Om, Maria. Shanti Om.


A-Rad finally pulled out. Caroline is finally playing like a number one which means she’s losing at the smaller events which means she should finally win a slam. Kim Clijsters isn’t here but sending out her save the date cards for when and where she’ll retire. Petra Kvitova just might take the rest of the year off and could lose to Mr. Roboto for the second week in a row. Serena loves being both the underdog and the champ. We’ll see which title she wants heading into the open. An early round loss here will allow her to brush off a favorite title; a victory makes her the definite favorite. If Stosur can beat Serena and make the final (would be her third this year) she desperately needs to prove she’s not the worst finalist in history. And everyone else just needs to do something. Come on, ladies, make Serena work for it.

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