Steffi Graf Has a Birthday Meltdown








Apparently elegance really is an attitude.

A birthday celebration for Stefanie Graf ended in a shocking scene of tears and tantrums last night after Graf had an unprecedented meltdown during her birthday cake presentation and was unable to blow out her 43 candles.

The party was going well until husband Andre Agassi came out with the cake and guests began to serenade the shy birthday girl. The chaos started when some guests reportedly stopped short of singing Graf’s full name, finishing instead with “Happy birthday dear Steffi.” Since retiring from professional tennis, Graf has been adamant about being called Stefanie. When party-goers sang “Steffi,” Graf started mumbling “ANIE” in a whisper but her cries soon escalated to a fever pitch of “It’s Stef-ANIE!” with a rage never seen from Graf, even during her most devastating moments on court.

Confused guests then started re-singing the song, making sure to annunciate “Stefanie” at full volume. The effect created a “rounds” atmosphere with echoes of “Steffi” and “Stefanie” filling the room until Graf fell to the floor, sobbing “Just finish the fucking song, ok! Just finish the fucking song!”

Agassi then pulled out the chalk board, made famous during his International Tennis Hall of Fame induction speech for Graf in 2004. In Agassi’s speech, he mentioned his nightly ritual of filling the board with notes about his love for Graf.

Guests said Agassi started writing furiously on the board in at attempt to calm Graf. “Stefanie,” “legs,” “slams,” and “Monica wouldn’t have taken over regardless” were scribbled on the board.

One drunk guest noticed the German spelling of “Stefanie” and screamed “Hey Andre, where did you learn to spell? The Agassi Academy?”

According to Chris Evert who was also in attendance, the whole scene just reeked of a spoiled tennis player whose success was paved by her foresisters. According to Evert, Graf shouldn’t have even been celebrating her birthday without first thanking Billie Jean King.

“Steffi, Stefanie – who cares? I’ve been going by Chrissie my entire life,” began Evert. “It doesn’t bother me one bit. Steffi should get her diaper changed and suck it up. Shit, if I had her bank account I’d sing my own birthday song and call myself Martina!”

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22 Responses to Steffi Graf Has a Birthday Meltdown

  1. Anonymous says:

    Everything is fun as long as someone does not get hurt. Like the humor but hope it does not cross the boundaries and the writer can take it when someone dishes humor at his expense.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Oh come on, it’s just a bit of fun!! I like it (and I’m German!).

    • Neena says:

      Is making it beleive it is real part of fun as well!!!!

      • Neena says:

        These are the responses to the tweeters asking if it were real:
        ■@TennisSavesMe @TennisNewsTPN not sure i know the difference
        ■@Orlevy it’s upsetting.

        Guess, David Rosenberg had a writing meltdown, so much that he could not differentiate his own made up satire from reality.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Yeah right,the irony of it all!!! Every Tom, Dick and Harry has a blog and easy way to get hits, just write a ‘satirical’ piece and link it to a famous person and then tweet it, the best way to get maximum hits to your blog and even better, make fun of someone on their B’day as an icing on the cake. More than 72 forced hits for an unforced error blog.

  4. Sam says:

    Didn’t think people can take a ‘joke’ to such an extent, whoever did this is just sick and pathetic. Waiting for the day aka David Rosenberg to make fun of people’s death just like he is doing about people’s B’day.
    Hoping for a day where there are blogging restrictions even for so called fun pieces.
    Just a quick question to the person who posted this (if you bothered to answer): Do you really think it is funny to publish bogus news on a person’s B’day??? Do you really need to reach such a low level to get a few hits to your blog????
    For all the people thinking it is real, just check out the ‘bogus news’ which is smartly hidden at the end. Fortunately, he hasn’t fallen so low in his other posts yet but who knows….

    • Anonymous says:

      Hear that madhitter is from a mental asylum, makes sense when you read the posts. Pity the fool, meaning the readers.

  5. Lou. Rabin says:

    If she wants to go by the full name then why shouldn’t she be able to . Lr

  6. Roger says:

    Steffi and Andre are the perfect match for sure, what a tennis family!

    And they seem to be living a nice and happy life as mentioned here:

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  19. Vanessa says:

    I love her. And she’s been always a lady. I guess she might had been under some kind of hormone imbalance.

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