12 things that probably won’t be overheard at Indian Wells
1. Hi, Serena. So good to see you again.
2. Everyone here is so young and energized. This tournament really has a similar vibe to Miami.
3. I saw Federer out at dinner last night. What a slob.
4. Not only do you get used to it, but after a while the screeching actually becomes pretty enjoyable.
5. The men’s quarters are loaded with Americans.
6. It’s the same old story: Ferrer phones it in and Tomic grinds it out.
7. Come quick! Azarenka and Sharapova are about to lip sync a duet of “Call Me Maybe” in the player’s garden.
8. I love him in the booth, but I really do miss seeing Gimelstob on court.
9. That’s Redfoo. I celebrate the man’s entire music catalog.
10. Totally speculating here, but just giving him the eyeball test, Cilic might be juicing.
11. It seems totally fair to take a ten-minute injury timeout right before your opponent is about to serve for the set.
12. Who hasn’t woken up in the middle of the night and fired four bullets into their bathroom?